These Are My Confessions

I think the moment we decide to embrace all our hardships and all our victories, experiences, and emotions in life is when we can truly be happy.

I am proud to be here for all that I am and all that I've seen, felt, and thought. There is no one "meaning" to life. The only thing about life we know for sure is that we are born with one. One to spend however we see fit. Yet, we're creatures driven by fear!

We're afraid of what other people think. We're afraid that we will fail (um, duh we fail). We're afraid of losing the people close to us. We're scared of speaking our true minds, because God forbid a small controversial part of us will be revealed. BUT ISN'T THIS WHAT MAKES US HUMAN?

We try so hard to appear and perform a certain way in society such that it's not too abnormal. I applaud the ones out there who confidently live their lives with an off-kilter vibe. I, for one, know for a fact that I have some bravery to build still. Here's some confessions about myself that you may not have guessed before:

1. If I was to do ANYTHING in this life every day with financial security, it would be music production/songwriting. Some of you already know I've dappled in it before - and I've surprised myself - but I still fear pursuing it 100%.

2. I started my freshmen year at an expensive public university without knowing exactly what I wanted to be. I'm still figuring that out.

3. I fall in love with people pretty fast. It's a gift and a curse because this also means I give my trust fast. I want so bad to see only the good in people, and believe they deserve my loyalty right away - just because everyone needs love. But, not everyone earns it from me :/

4. I love to preach spontaneity, but often when I come across a spontaneous offer, I have to plan every detail so that I'm prepared. Hmmm...strange. Maybe I have some small control issues :-P

5. I don't get upset over "spilled milk". I'm the person who knocks the glass over, spills the milk, and is already walking over to grab the sponge. If there's a solution, I will find it. I'd rather focus on that than dwell on the problem/complain about it.

6. I am an introverted-extrovert. Those of you who went to high school with me or have known me for a long time understand this: I keep a small, intimate group of friends close to me, and everyone else is just a casual friend to me. I have absolutely NO interest in talking about other peoples' lives or problems, unless it somehow brings value to my life. (hardly)

7. The tattoo on my right shoulder - I designed it. Picture and words.

It says, "Mutantur omnia nos et mutamur in illis" ... that's Latin for "All things change and we change with them"... along the wings of a phoenix.

To me, this essentially means that we adapt to our surroundings/challenges/experiences. I got this tattoo after my oldest brother died because I had to adapt in SO many ways to my circumstances. I'm very open about this topic, and could elaborate in person.

8. If I am upset with someone, I won't always tell them right away. I show my frustration and want to give them a chance to figure out WHY they made me upset. It's simple - have some emotional intelligence! However, this can only last so long... it's much better to just talk about your feelings lol

9. I am an intellectual. If we can't find at least one intelligent thing to talk about in our friendship/relationship, than I lose interest in spending time with that person. I crave new ideas, new thinking, and self-improvement. I want to surround myself with people who force me to think differently and/or express creativity.

10. If I collected all the pizza boxes ordered in college and lined them up, I would be disgusted :-P haha... #pizzaislife